• The Matchmaker

Dating in your 50's: Avoid these common pitfalls and find everlasting love again

Over the years, you’ve built the confidence, wisdom and independence to lead a fulfilling life. But if you’re over 50 and looking to date again, dating can pose a challenge. After all, you’ve likely had your fair share of relationships and lived to tell the tale. Whether you’ve been through a divorce, recent heartbreak or just haven’t met the right one, the saturated dating scene for women over 50 in the UK can throw a wrench in your plans to find love. You might think that all the ‘good ones’ are taken at this stage, but that’s not true if you know where to look. MD & Founder of Introduction agency The Matchmaker UK Lara Besbrode suggests that while dating in your 50s can seem like an uphill battle, working with a matchmaker can often lead to more promising results.

Dating in your 50s can be fun, stimulating and engaging but there are plenty of pitfalls, Lara advises. And if you start off on the wrong foot, for example, by looking for your next partner with a scarcitymindset, you’re likely to overlook some major red flags. More importantly, finding love on dating sites and apps might not necessarily be your best bet, Lara stresses. So if you’re looking for something more meaningful or authentic, such as someone to spend your life with, then you’re better off looking elsewhere, like working with a bespoke matchmaker who will listen to your needs, requirements and give you the best shot at finding love.

As someone who has been catfished and experienced subpar dating etiquette on many dating sites, Lara decided to start her own introduction agency, The Matchmaker UK. Not only has she experienced the highs and lows that come with dating apps, but she has also lived through an international divorce and now leads a growing business as a single mother!

Partnering with an experienced matchmaker like Lara Besbrode may offer you a much-needed dose of hope. With Lara’s knowledge and expertise, clients are professionally guided through the dating scene. Equipped with a professional, interdisciplinary team consisting of a psychotherapist, relationship coach and local and international matchmakers, Lara undoubtedly loves what she does: helping women find a suitable match. There’s no doubt your chances of meeting that special person are stronger when there’s a powerful, experienced team behind you.

Together with The Matchmaker UKteam, clients are profiled and vetted to ensure a safe and pleasurable dating experience! In other words, The Matchmaker UK team takes anxiety, pain and complications out of dating. And while dating during the pandemic, including following social distancing guidelines, has placed greater pressure on meeting others, The Matchmaker UK has creatively adapted to the pandemic by setting up Zoom (video call) dates, and socially-distanced date ideas like romantic walks and picnics.

Lara recognises that many women in their 50s will opt to date online at first. But before you dive into the dating apps, or dip your toes back into the dating world, here are some common pitfalls to avoid, and some tips to help you find lasting love. First, if you’re new to dating in your 50s, you might find that the dating rules have changed. Technology is now the key to finding your match. But before you install a plethora of dating apps on your phone, keep in mind that these apps are best avoided for several reasons.

First, many dating apps today cater to the younger generation, and more importantly, they’re laden with fickle daters seeking casual encounters or companionship. According to this Guardian study, as more middle-aged men cherry-pick younger women on dating sites, women in their 50s can be left bewildered and feeling overlooked. Numerous studies have shown that men prefer younger women and won’t hesitate to embark on that desire. What’s more, as the number of single parents is expected to rise to 1.9 million over the next decade, these trends are here to stay, and the market for middle-aged daters will continue to become even more saturated.

Another reason to avoid dating apps is the rampant romance scams that are elaborately designed to take advantage of your single status, bank account and desire for love. In 2020, online dating victims lost £63m to online romance scams in the UK. One victim was scammed out of £30,000 and almost lost her home, according to this Sky News report. Romance scams manifest in the form of catfishing, which entails someone creating a fake profile to lure an unsuspecting person into a relationship under the guise of gaining money from the person. Usually, the fraudster will make up all kinds of excuses to avoid meeting up in person, but will remain available to text and speak on the phone.

Plenty of dating sites do not have the resources to deal with this issue. For instance, on a website with 1.5 million users, only a team of 15 is available to address fraudsters, according to this BBC report. For all these reasons, Lara is adamant about exploring your alternatives prior to embarking on a dating app spree that has the potential to wreak havoc on your wellbeing.

Ultimately, one of Lara’s main goals as MD and founder of The Matchmaker UK is to help single people in this age group, primarily women, meet emotionally-available men who are willing to enter into a genuine, long-lasting relationship. With a founder who’s been through a wild ride in love and relationships, Lara says she is deeply passionate about connecting women in their 50s with partners who are genuinely looking for the same things you are. Feel free to browse through The Matchmaker UK’s website and social media, and contact Lara if you’re currently looking for your match.