As a society, we’ve romanticised the idea of love at first sight. At The Matchmaker UK, many of our clients expect fireworks and instant attraction on Date One. Often, clients are quick to dismiss the idea of a second or third date – citing a lack of immediate attraction as the reason. Founder and International Certified Matchmaker, Lara Besbrode, strongly believes this approach can be misguided. Lara and our team of multi-award winning, premium, bespoke matchmakers have hand-selected plenty of successful matches. We know it takes at least three dates before making a final decision – and here’s why.
The Illusion of Love at First Sight
We’ve been conditioned to believe that in the concept of love at first sight or instant chemistry. While movies and books make for entertaining storytelling, they often lead to unrealistic expectations in real-life relationships. “True compatibility and attraction are complex – and they required shared experiences to fully develop,” adds Lara Besbrode.
Science backs up our claim that falling in love is often clouded by psychological and physiological processes triggered by brain chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. These feel-good neurotransmitters play a role in attraction and bonding. It’s important to balance initial feelings with rationality and a deeper connection for a long-lasting relationship.
Building a Solid Foundation
At The Matchmaker UK, clients are often paired with a dating coach to ensure clients extract maximum value from the journey. We often tell our clients that relationships are built on more than just physical attraction. Consider emotional connection, shared values, common interests and intellectual compatibility. These qualities and values are equally important aspects of a successful relationship. What’s more, it takes time to uncover these layers. And dismissing your match based solely on initial attraction can rob you of the chance to meet your special person.
First Impressions Can Be Misleading
Our matchmakers work hard to plan an extraordinary first date for our clients. But we also know that you can feel nervous or guarded on the first date, which masks your true personality. It’s important to allow yourself (and your match) the opportunity to relax and open up over multiple dates. As you spend more time together, you may unpeel hidden layers, shared vulnerabilities and unique qualities that weren’t apparent. What you learn about your match can help build a meaningful, long-lasting connection that goes beyond instant attraction!
As matchmakers, we’re skilled in the art of matching discerning clientele with a wide range of requirements. But we also know that attraction is not a fixed concept – it can grow and evolve over time. For instance, physical chemistry can develop over time as you become more familiar with your match’s mannerisms. Moreover, emotional connection can deepen as you share personal stories and experiences. Allowing for a second or third date allows the attraction to take its natural course and potentially blossom into something amazing! We see it all the time at The Matchmaker UK. You just have to be willing to give it a try!
If you’re looking for a long-lasting, meaningful relationship and are ready to find that special person, challenge yourself to let go of your preconceived notions. Give your matches a fair chance to develop. At The Matchmaker UK, we believe that declining a second date too quickly can be premature and hurts your chances of finding love. Based on our collective experience, getting to know someone and uncovering the many layers that make them who they are takes time. The next time you feel tempted to decline a second date due to a lack of instant attraction, remember that true love is often found in the patience and willingness to explore beyond first impressions! If you’re ready to start your dating journey, please contact us now!